A neutral base is the best.
Bear with me readers as this may sound confusing. When I first heard about the idea of feeling enough or more precisely, not feeling enough, and how it can impact one’s life, I felt a twinge of disappointment. Why isn’t it “good enough” rather than “enough” only?
It took me some time to fully understand that “feeling enough” carries a simple but really powerful message. It means that you are enough just as you are. Despite your quirks and flaws, you’re good even when you do not feel good at all. It’s a reminder that you do not need to constantly try to match your own or others’ expectations. Feeling “enough” the way you are, offers the freedom of being curious about yourself, as opposed to being preoccupied with that never-ending rat race of matching unrealistic, unreachable versions of yourself. And using “feeling good enough” implies that feeling enough is somewhat conditional and that you HAVE TO BECOME “good enough” rather than just BEING ENOUGH by definition. And that’s not what we are aiming for. Or at least, we shouldn’t be aiming for.
- Take a moment to tell yourself that you already are enough, you always were and always will be. Tell yourself you are whole and complete and see how you feel. Take a deep breath in and feel accepted and loved by the most important person in your life, a person that is always with you – YOU.
The beauty and freedom of the empty space within.
The real change starts with awareness of how things are and their radical acceptance. Feeling enough is positioning you in that blissful point where you are absolutely free to be whoever you want to be, without the need of constantly chasing validation from others. There is nothing left to prove to yourself or others which finally frees up space to be fully utilised to your liking, in your own unique way. You step into authentic presence and enter the realm of the magical “here and now”. Isn’t it wonderful to be able to step into it with every breath you are taking?
I think there is a lot being said and written on how to achieve goals, become disciplined and ways of increasing your productivity. However, there is not enough emphasis on taking a moment to pause and check in with where you are now and equally importantly, with where you want to go.
- Take a moment and ask yourself. What do you need at this moment? Do you need comforting? Do you need uplifting? Maybe you are tired or hungry? Or perhaps you have to do something really urgent? Tend to whatever it is and when it’s done switch off all the distractions and check in with your thoughts and feelings once again.
- Are you able to relax now, or are you still preoccupied with something? Were you able to give yourself a gift of empty space within? Or perhaps you have noticed the ubiquitous presence of something really important that you were continuously pushing away?
One step at a time.
Once you know you are enough, that you are the creator, the artist of your own life with your blank canvas ready, you can slowly (or quickly; the choice is yours alone) start creating your own picture. The important part of this process is to focus on adding as many colours as possible that make you feel good. You have to refine your taste and decide what you need to create the picture that makes sense to you. Be brave and be honest.
As my dear friend says “The good times are not the time for us to give up on affirmations”, which means that when you are feeling good you should be focusing on what it is that makes you feel like that. By doing this, you will be able to get yourself back on track when times get hard by automatically navigating towards the things that serve you. Practice every day by adding more and more meaningful things to your days, practice feeling enough and being present, and let the magic happen.
- Take a moment for yourself. Breathe gently, calmly, and easily. Without overthinking it, write down a long list of things that you are grateful for and that make you feel good and are good for you.
- You can start with the statement: I feel good when I am/ I do/ I… List little everyday pleasures like a cup of your favourite tea or coffee or wearing your favourite sweater. Perhaps it can also include other people in your life, like feeling good about the message received from a friend and spending a nice time with your family and loved ones. Get curious about yourself, get more personal. Discover what it is that you appreciate the most.
Fortune favours the brave.
There is quite a difference between just thinking about what makes us feel good and really feeling it. Your aim is to feel good from within, to experience it, and live it in the present moment. Thinking “I will finally feel good if..” or even worse, “What’s wrong with me, everything is fine I should feel good!” is not really constructive. To make sure you stay connected to yourself, and avoid any potential setbacks, always start with “I feel good when I..” to prioritise the emotion over the logic so it can intuitively guide you towards your needs and/or interests.
Be brave and try new things. Feeling good does not always equal feeling comfortable or over the moon. And that’s the beauty of it. We are able to value and appreciate things through contrast. Give yourself the right to discover new things and to experience life with an open mind. You do not need to worry when all of it is built on a solid base of feeling enough and feeling grateful.
- Take a moment and from that cozy feeling of gratitude for what’s feeling good and being enough, allow yourself to come up with the intention of trying something new, perhaps something that you always wanted to try. It doesn’t have to be big, it has to be yours. Challenge yourself to follow that intention with action. Find what else can feel good for you.
Thank you for taking your time to read my article, I would love to hear from you in the comment section.
