The very first lesson I learned during the belly dance class was to always make sure my knees are slightly bent. To make it easier for us to remember, Reine, a beautiful woman, a skilled dancer, and our instructor, explained that this is “the home” position in belly dance, and home is where you are the most, where you reside.
Using the definition of “home” in that way really resonated with me. Till not so long ago, I still used to think of a home only in terms of a place of my origin, where you should feel that you truly belong. A place where you are supposed to feel safe, accepted & loved. This definition I created for myself, combined with the fact that I am coming from a home that was nothing like that and that I left many years ago, kept creating this internal reminder that I have missed out on something really important and brought a lot of unnecessary suffering into my life.
Redefining the meaning I gave to the word home, helped me to see that I already have what I always wanted. This empowered me further by simply noticing that I made it. It wasn’t given to me. I have created it over the years by simply wanting it so much and not agreeing to anything else. Ok, perhaps sometimes it could have been done by letting go rather than fighting, and sometimes the other way around, but hey, no one is perfect.
How beautifully freeing is it to adopt this extraordinary definition of home as a place where you are the most? It’s such a powerful tool to reflect on what we are taking for granted, what seems so natural and familiar for us to the point that we forget we still have the power to change it.
This can be done in a very general way, by simply reflecting what is the state of mind you are experiencing mostly. Is it happiness, calmness, or safety? If yes, then that’s great and keep going. Or is it anxiety, sadness, or suffering? In that case, you can find ways of snapping yourself out of it rather than believing that “this is just the way things are for me”.
To make it more precise just use this tool by applying it to a particular aspect of our lives. What’s my home position, my main mental state, feeling, and emotion when I think about my work, my relationships, and my health? Does it feel good? Does it feel safe? Is it empowering? For example: What’s my home position with regards to my health? Am I feeling well? Am I taking proper care of my body? Is there something I know I need to address? The next question would be what & how can I change so I can support myself better?
So, I will repeat my question: Where is it that you are the most? Where do you mostly reside? Make sure your “home” is a place that helps you live your best life.