Let’s go back to the root. Affirmation.
When checking with google on what affirmation is, I read that, according to Oxford Languages, affirmation is “the action or process of affirming something”, however there is also a second definition following which states that affirmation is “emotional support or encouragement”.
When checking with google about the positive affirmations we can find plenty of them, often not simply written but even adorned with beautiful photos, fonts, colours and graphics. You can also find them in the form of audio and video too, and also here, there is so much choice. You can listen to those with the background music or without it, with a female speaker or male speaker, you can find your favourite tone of voice. It’s plenty and of wide variety so it seems like a perfect idea to use it to uplift oneself.
However, I think that everyone who tried positive affirmations to feel better or to improve their mindset, including me, many times encountered times when listening or reading positive affirmations was simply unbearable. It could feel at times really uncomfortable and untrue to the point of stopping to use this tool for a while or even being totally done with it and labelling it into the category of “stuff that doesn’t work”.
No, but seriously, let’s go back to the root.
If we decide to go with the statement that would illustrate how we would like to feel, how we would like to be while we are really low, it can make us feel even worse and unauthentic. Nothing could be more far from the truth for us, if we try to go with the statement “I am attracting the right person for me” while we just faced a break up and feel rejected and lonely. I think the answer lies in the first definition of affirmation. If we, especially being unaware of it, think of this statement in terms of something that confirms the current state it can cause us an internal conflict and will not feel good.
I believe the best way is to choose the statement that can fall into the brackets of the second definition. Maybe a short sentence that can uplift us and encourage us, that can be a tool for us to support ourselves. It could be a slight modification of the initial one like “Although at the moment I feel rejected and lonely I am choosing to believe that I am attracting the right person for me at the right time and place” or if times are really hard, simply with “Everyday I am getting a bit better”.
Choose what you need.
If you are a person that wants to start their adventure with positive affirmations, I would suggest going with what you need at this very moment. If you feel happy and successful and brave, go with the statements that are bold, that makes you feel good. Get excited about what you want and tap into the feeling of gratitude for what’s coming. It is a great time to affirm. As my very good friend says when the times are good, “This is not the time to stop the positive affirmations”. She is very wise. Mind learns by repetition, and utilising positive affirmations while you are feeling good makes this way of thinking a habit, which then will lead you to act in a way that matches your state of mind.
However, if you are not well, go with the comfort first. Be aware of how you feel and match the statement or statements so they make you a bit better. So they uplift you slowly but surely and do not cause even more irritation or conflict in your mind. The best thing about it is that only you know exactly and precisely why you struggle, why you are feeling sad or hopeless, so it’s you who is in the best position to find what feels good. That will create a habit of thinking better when times are hard.
Make it your thing.
I am a great believer that we achieve the best results if we allow ourselves space and time to first, try things out and second to observe the change that will happen in us. This is a driver to continue creating a better thinking our reality. If we keep adjusting this tool to make us feel better, rather than trying to force the positive way of thinking on ourselves, this feeling will lead us towards an authentically better mind set. One step at the time.
Instead of brief flirtation I would suggest making your relationship with affirmations a life-lasting commitment.
